The Barryfest Chronicles

I always been a pretty big fan of Halloween.  As a kid, I vaguely remember that the unpredictable Chicago weather always seemed to cooperate and that my neighborhood was consistently pretty solid when it came to the trick-or-treat candy that was being doled out.  And then in college, my fraternity’s big party of the year was called “Phright Night,” which was a huge costume bash we held at this incredible barn in the far west suburbs.  It took about a dozen buses to ship everyone out there, and at some point it became tradition to stock each bus with about 15 boxes of Franzia to keep people hydrated during the hour long commute.

So I was pumping pretty hard last night when I hit my first Halloween party of the year.  I dusted off the sweet Hunter S. Thompson/Raoul Duke ensemble I have been assembling for the last few years and was wowed by all the equally impressive costumes donned by the other party-goers.  All your classics were there:  the throwback basketball team, a few mummies, some guy in a priest outfit making NAMBLA jokes; and, of course, a litany of girls dressed as a sexy version of every public and private sector career under the sun.  It was pretty great. Read the rest of this entry »

The other day, I figured out that supporting facts and supporting the McCain/Palin campaign are two mutually exclusive positions.  I am not even saying that you have to be one of those people who knows a lot of facts or is even particularly good at remembering facts.  But if you have even the smallest appreciation for the beauty and simplicity of a well-stated and verifiable fact, this campaign season has got to be wearing on you.

This total disregard for truth is only part of the GOP’s anti-intellectual, populist movement that has effectively turned me into a radical intellectual militant.  I feel like I am forced to assume that if anyone out there is still planning to cast a vote for John McCain, it is likely a result of his or her below-average intellect.  I have to figure that he or she is no different than the horrifically misinformed dolts that file into the crowd for a Sarah Palin speech and proceed to slur African-American members of the media covering the event and share their desire to assassinate the man on the other side of the ticket. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Elizabeth,

I know there are a lot of reasons people choose their particular political affiliation.  Each party and candidate has to take a stance on a variety of issues, and I realize that different issues resonate differently with different people.  Some people vote based on their economic situation, others look to their views about foreign war, and some actually rely solely on their religious views.

Sure, it would make far more sense for voters to weigh the relative importance of all a candidate’s positions in regard to the current challenges facing our nation and make an informed decision based on all factors, but I get what an unrealistic prospect this is.  And I’m really okay with that, as long as people are truthful about their intentions.

If you are most concerned with protecting your wealth, just admit that you don’t want to cast a vote that will take money out of your pocket.  If you are a highly religious, just admit that you would never support a candidate who supports a woman’s right to choose. If you are a bigot, just admit that you favor discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Read the rest of this entry »